So you think you're not good enough?

Have you guys ever felt like your life is constantly changing?
One moment you feel great, and in one instant, your mood changes; and stays that way for the entire week?

I often feel that way when it comes to my life, my dreams, my personality, even the people I know change on me.
Have you ever felt bothered that your life has taken such drastic measures from what it was a week ago? Or even a month ago? Maybe even a year ago?

These questions only continue to recycle in my head.
I'll get my confidence back up for two second before something or someone says something, and! dun dun dun...POOF! It's gone.
The first few thoughts that go through my head are especially with the "people situation" is the ordeal of--what did I do wrong? Did I say something or do something weird? And, can I fix what I did?

I'd say seven times out of ten would be the fact that it isn't me at all. Those seven times are usually me questioning or the better word would be,critisizing myself until I end up on a character bill board; Ya know, this part of my personality goes on the blue sticky note, this side goes on orange; oh and the green one is the part of the story where I screw up again.

The times I'd say that the three out of ten is directed towards ourselves are things that every human being deals with; whether it's bad communication, lack of respect, lack of attention, etc. What I'm slowly discovering is how to see if I'm doing the three or the seven out of that ten.

I seek God, and search my heart. I like to think of it as an X-ray or a Cat-scan; where you just analize yourself to see what you're doing "wrong," ONLY so you can fix it. NOT beat yourself up about it.

In the end, it's not a problem with my dreams, personality or my life; what it's really about is how you choose to use your dreams, personality and life. And if life continues to change on me, that's okay; because the only way it'll get better is if I let it get better instead of dwell on the past.

And when your dreams are questioned by people, go back to the Father and ask him again.

If they say things that go against what God has told you to do, the problem isn't you. The problem is that they don't see what God has shown YOU, and what he shows you is what is important. However, do not throw out wise counsil about your life if someone comes to you in a respectful manner, and tells you what they think God has shown them; try it. See if it #1 If they're behavior and what they are saying lines up with God's word. #2 If it lines up with something God has already shown you. #3 If they say something to you that doesn't contradict what God has shown you, and it isn't contradicting his word, then go to him and ask Him about it; because maybe it's another part of your life he's revealing to you through another person. Always go the Father FIRST though. 

My personality is challenged a lot of times by people; some think I'm way to happy and hyperactive, others think I'm loud and obnoxious. Then, on the flip side to that coin, I have people tell me that I'm sweet and bring joy to others. Is my voice loud? Yes! But not obnoxious. Which one do I believe?
First of all, I know what my God believes about me because of his word, and what he's told me personally. If I've accidently been obnoxious at times, that doesn't mean I'm just, "That way," it means I made a mistake and I'm going to work on being a little less loud around other people. But in the end, the problem still isn't "me," because the word "mistake," is not my identity or any one of my bro's and sis's in Christ Jesus are either. Neither is Cancer, Lupus, Migraines, Tumors, etc.

None of that stuff could be any one of you. Some may think, well, I'm not very gifted in who I am or what I can do; so I'm going to use my sickness as a ministry; because God obviously wants me to have it.  
I don't mean to step on anyone's toes, but you can minister to someone through the example of how you handle your condition, but you know how you can really show who God is? It's by being who you are instead of hiding behind an insecurity of disease; which only sets an example of you being more capable of ministering to others compared to if you didn't have a disease. A lot of people let those things become they're identity.

You don't think you're good enough because of what someone else has told you. You don't need to be what anyone has ever told you that you are, or do what someone else has told you to do unless you know for a fact that is what God wants you to do; sickness is not something he allows or gives to you.

How do I handle my life? Huh, well, I don't! I leave it in God's hands, at least I try my best too. He's a great God and I know that he'll take care of everything that I need.
And when hard times come up, I face it just like I'd be facing any other kind of spiritual warefare.

I want this message to reach out to all those who struggle with the same things as I do; and I want you to know that you are not alone. There are others who have problems trying to find out who they are and who they're God is; the one thing I do know, is that God cares about you and loves you just the way you are!


I hope this encourages you guys! If you have any questions or comments I'd be more than happy to be a listener.
Love,
Wren.